


Better to Be Hated (Than Loved for What You're Not)

by J (j_writes)



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-06
Updated: 2012-09-06
Packaged: 2017-11-13 16:29:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/505488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/j_writes/pseuds/J
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>24 facts about Tony Stark (for varying definitions of the word "fact")</p>
            </blockquote>





	Better to Be Hated (Than Loved for What You're Not)

**Author's Note:**

> written for [Avengers Reverse Big Bang](http://avengers-rbb.livejournal.com/), inspired by [this](http://aheartthen.livejournal.com/16187.html) amazing art by [aheartthen](http://aheartthen.livejournal.com).

The first time DUM-E brought Steve a magazine with Tony on the cover, he laughed and patted the robot on the head. "Of course she keeps these lying around," he said. "I'm surprised she doesn't have them all framed." He set it aside without reading it.

The second time was late at night, when he was sitting on top of one of the tables in Tony's workshop, sketching the differences in the models of Tony's armor in the hopes he'd eventually start feeling tired. It hadn't worked so far, and when DUM-E rolled over to him and deposited a magazine on his lap, he actually gave it a considering look for a few minutes, reading the headlines, before he handed it back.

"Thank you – " he paused and looked upwards. "JARVIS, is there anything I can call him that's not 'dummy'? That seems…unnecessarily cruel."

"You can call him anything you like, Captain Rogers," JARVIS, "but I cannot promise he will answer to anything else. Insults are generally considered to be a term of endearment in this household."

Steve sighed. "Thank you, Dummy," he said, trying to make his voice sound extra nice to make up for the name, "but I don't feel like reading right now." He made a face at the cover. "And I don't think I really need to learn seven different ways to please my man, anyway."

The third time DUM-E offered him a magazine with Tony staring up at him from it with a challenging expression on her face, he was bored enough that he tucked it under his arm, returned to the room that Tony had set aside for him at the end of the workshop, and barely glanced at the cover before he started flipping through the pages. Of course, that was the time that Tony walked in on him.

"You know," she said, leaning against the doorway, "if you're interested in who I've been screwing, you could just ask."

Steve looked up at her and did his best to pretend not to be startled. "Last I heard," he said, "you liked for people to do the reading first." His eyes flickered to the doorframe. "Is knocking one of those social graces that got lost since I went into the ice, or is it specific to you?"

"It's one of the social graces you get exempt from when you own the building," she informed him. 

"Money really does buy you everything," he said.

"Look, I wouldn't have come in if you were whacking it or anything. I have _some_ couth."

"Clearly," he said dryly. He closed the magazine and set it aside.

"'24 Facts About Tony Stark,'" Tony read aloud from the cover. "What, did you exhaust what the internet had to tell you about me? Because I could probably have JARVIS point you towards some choice stuff you might have missed."

"It's not mine," Steve said with a hint of defensiveness.

"Sure, that's what they all say." She made a face at it. "If you're determined to pry into my seedy past, I'm pretty sure JARVIS has an unauthorized biography or two of me kicking around the library. I think he buys them for laughs. I'm sure anything they could think up to put in that rag is either already household knowledge or it's a flat-out lie," she replied. She crossed the room and took the magazine from the table, flipping pages until she got to the feature article. "Bullshit, bullshit, yawn, bullshit...hm, that one's true, actually."

Steve's hand darted out to grab the magazine back from her, crumpling the pages. "Did you need something?" he asked her pointedly.

She shrugged and perched on the arm of his couch. "Nope."

"You just came in here to critique my choice in reading materials?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

He settled back against the couch cushions and eyed her speculatively. "How about it, then?"

"How about what?"

He held up the magazine. "Putting your money where your mouth is. If I want to know any of this stuff, I just have to ask? Well, I'm asking." He raised an eyebrow at her in challenge.

She tucked her knees up and looked at him. "I'd prefer it to google fact-checking, yeah," she replied finally. "At least give me the opportunity to lie for myself, rather than having some journalist get it all ass-backwards."

Steve looked down at the cover, then held out the magazine to her like an offering. "Go ahead, then. Truth, lie, or somewhere in between?"

She looked down at her face. "That photo? 87% lie. Check out that airbrushing."

He shrugged. "I can just go on believing that you slept with half the Yankees' starting lineup, if you'd prefer. Although, I have to say, as a Dodgers fan, that hurts my soul a little."

"Oh, no, that one's true," Tony said, and he felt his face go hot despite himself at the thought. " _Damn_ , you're easy, Rogers." She set the magazine on the back of the couch and looked at him seriously. "You really want to know this shit," she said, not quite a question. 

He frowned, reconsidering. "If it'll make you uncomfortable - " he began, and she cut him off with a wave of her hand.

"Oh, I reserve the right to refuse to answer anything I feel like," she assured him. "I'm just saying..." she waved down at herself. "I'm not actually all that interesting."

Steve tilted a shoulder in a half shrug. "I'm interested," he said simply.

"For reasons of team-building?" Tony filled in.

"If you like," Steve replied neutrally.

She looked at him for a long while, then shrugged and stood. "I need a drink," she decided. "Actually, I need like four."

Steve waved towards the far end of the room. "You're in luck, then," he said. "Someone had the sense to install a bar in here."  
_____________

**Tony Stark…**

_…was expected to be a boy named Anthony. Her parents had chosen a different girl's name entirely, but after she was born, her father decided to stick with 'Tony.'_

"Mostly true. They chose 'Natasha' as a girl's name early on, believe it or not, but everyone was so convinced that I was a boy – even the doctors, something about the way I was positioned, I think – that they just started calling me 'little Tony' before I popped out. By the time I showed up, I guess they decided it wasn't worth trying to retrain themselves."

"What part makes it only mostly true?" Steve asked.

Tony grinned. "If you think anyone other than my mother was going to win the fight about names, clearly you've never met any Stark women."

_…had Captain America bedsheets as a child._

"I'd deny that one, but – "

"This is an adorable picture of you." 

She gulped down her drink and slumped so her face was buried in the couch cushions. "This is the worst plan I have ever had," she mumbled. "Why did I let you talk me into this mess?"

"I think I'll cut it out and put it on my wall," Steve told her, grinning.

"I hate everything about you."

"Clearly." He looked closer. "Are those throw pillows shaped like my shield?"

_…designed a building that appeared at the original Stark Expo._

"Apparently true," she said, "But inadvertently."

"How – " Steve began, and Tony shrugged.

"How was _I_ supposed to know that no one would notice I'd snuck a model onto the map until it was already under construction?" She grinned.

_…was among the first class of girls admitted to Phillips Academy in Andover._

"True, but unfortunately one of the few things that I can't attribute to my own genius," she said regretfully. "The school I was actually admitted to happened to merge with Phillips that year."

"Happened to?" Steve asked, raising an eyebrow.

"That's the official word on it, yeah."

"Unofficially?"

She shrugged. "Unofficially, there's a sizeable charitable donation on the SI books that year, earmarked simply as 'education grant.' You're welcome to draw your own conclusions from that."

_…learned to shoot guns from her father at the age of nine._

"Half true."

"Which half?"

"My dad never once saw me with a gun in my hands." She paused. "Well, a real one, at least. There were a couple of photo shoots…" she trailed off, wincing almost imperceptibly.

"Who taught you, then?" He hazarded a guess. "Stane?"

"No." Tony grinned at him. "Peggy Carter."

_…is rumored to be behind the infamous hacking of the Fenway Park Citgo sign that occurred while she was at MIT, which briefly turned the landmark into a giant glowing middle finger._

"Fact," Tony said without hesitation, "but it was Rhodey's idea."

_…engaged in a relationship with her RA from MIT._

"Weren't you still underage for most of college?" Steve asked, concerned.

"Oh, for – " Tony began, then cut herself off. "You think I didn't have sex until I was eighteen? Maybe that's how they did it back in 1847, but here in _this_ century – "

"I just think it's a little inappropriate for someone in a position of authority – " Steve interrupted her, and she interrupted him right back.

"Untwist your panties, Cap. Nothing happened with my RA."

He let out a breath. "Honestly?"

"Well, no," she admitted, and he opened his mouth to object, but she cut him off. "Technically, everything in that statement is true. The part they left out was the fact that I _met_ him when he was my RA, and that he didn't lay a hand on me until nearly six years later." She let out a great sigh, ruffling her hair. 

"I bet you didn't make it easy on him, either," Steve guessed.

"Right in one," she agreed. "The other part they forgot to mention was that the RA in question happened to be Rhodey."

Steve blinked. "You two did date, then," he managed eventually.

"Briefly. It wasn't the best idea either of us ever had." She considered. "Not the worst one either, though." She smiled thinly. "He was too good for me."

Steve winced. " _Tony…_ "

"No, I mean literally. He's a _good guy_. That's not really what I'm into." 

"You automatically disqualify people as dating prospects if they're interested in treating you well?"

"No. I disqualify them if I _like_ them too much. Dating's complicated enough without messing it up by wanting to be _friends_." 

"You're not friends with Pepper?" Steve asked.

The smile that crept across Tony's face was softer than any expression he'd ever seen her make. "Pepper's just the exception that proves all my rules."

_…created her first AI because she considered it less work than training a satisfactory lab assistant._

"100% true," Tony said, "and it worked, too. Dummy's stuck with me for longer than anyone." 

DUM-E whirred encouragingly from over her shoulder, and Steve looked up at him. "You don't think that has anything to do with the fact that he's bolted to a base, do you?"

DUM-E let out a dangerous-sounding noise, and reached over Tony to pull Steve's hair.

"He's got wheels," she said defensively. "You don't want to go anywhere, do you, boy?" She patted the robot until he let go of Steve and backed up, spinning his claw and chattering. She looked at Steve seriously. "They're not my slaves, you know."

He held up his hands. "I didn't think they were."

"Yes, you did," she replied. "Everyone does."

"No," he insisted. "I thought they were more like your pets. Except JARVIS," he added quickly, glancing upwards in the hopes that the AI wasn't easily offended.

Tony tilted her head, looking at DUM-E. "Pets," she repeated thoughtfully. "I guess that's not too far off. Smarter than your average beagle, though."

Steve snorted. "What isn't?" he asked. The corner of Tony's mouth curved up in a smile, and she regarded Steve intensely until he felt the need to ask her, "What?"

"You should get a dog," she decided.

He blinked. "Me?"

"I'd build you a robot, but I think having him around might just freak you out." She considered it. "I guess I could make you a robot dog. Would that be too weird? You'd never have to take it on walks, and it wouldn't mind if you went off on a mission without it for a while."

"What are you – " Steve began, then cut himself off. "Tony, I don't need a dog. Robot or otherwise."

She shrugged. "Sure, Cap. Just don't expect anyone to be surprised when you come home with a giant ball of fluff some day and ask JARVIS if you can keep it."

"I'm not going to – " he began, but DUM-E nudged his shoulder and beeped.

"He thinks it's a good idea," Tony told him authoritatively. 

Steve patted DUM-E on the head. "He also thought I should read this magazine," Steve reminded her.

"Okay, so maybe his decision-making protocols need some work…" she conceded.

_…nearly enlisted in the armed forces the year she turned eighteen._

" _Did_ you?" Steve asked, feeling his eyes go wide.

Tony grinned. "Wouldn't _that_ have been a disaster?" she asked gleefully. "I did, almost. Got right up to the point of nearly signing my name on the dotted line and everything."

" _Why_?" Steve demanded.

Tony laughed. "Says the guy who tried to enlist, what, six times?"

He frowned. "That's different."

"Because I'm a woman?"

"Because there was a war on when I did it," he replied flatly.

She shrugged. "You're right, it was for all the wrong reasons, but I spent a couple of weeks determined to do it anyway. Just to show people I _could_ , I guess. And because there was all this backlash about my taking over the company eventually without knowing anything about combat. It was Rhodey who talked me out of it, ultimately."

"By convincing you that you didn't have to?" Steve asked.

Tony gave him a lopsided smile. "No, by pointing out how shitty I'd be at it. You might not know this about me, Rogers, but I really hate being bad at things."

_…has posed naked in Playboy three times._

"Twice," she corrected. "And a half." She eyed Steve closely. "You're looking a little pink around the edges, there, Cap. What, that didn't come up in your googling?"

Steve tried valiantly to keep the embarrassment from his face. "I didn't look," he told her honestly. He hadn't, really. They'd turned up, of course, but he'd skimmed by them without letting himself look too closely at the expanses of her skin, the challenging face she turned to the camera.

She pulled her phone out of her pocket "Here, this one's the best of them," she said, tilting the screen towards him, and he looked up at her, questioning, before letting his eyes drop down to the photo. He felt them widen slightly.

"Is that – " he began, and reached out to wrap his fingers around her wrist and pull the phone closer to get a better look.

"Told you I did some photo shoots with guns," she said mildly.

He swallowed and didn't reply.

She pulled the phone back and hit some buttons. "There," she said eventually. "I've forwarded you the set. And the others. It's not like you haven't seen worse from me in the gym," she reminded him.

"It's different," he said.

"Maybe to you." She shrugged. "To me, naked is naked."

He tried to come up with a reply to that, and when he failed, he asked instead, "Twice and a half?"

"Not the half you think," she said. "It was…after." Her fingers reached up to trace the edge of the arc reactor, and one of her shoulders lifted in a shrug. "It maybe wasn't my best idea, but…I wanted to." 

He nodded. "I get that." He didn't, not quite, but he could see a defensive resolve in her face that he knew better than to challenge.

"That'll probably be the last time, though. Apparently there's an age where no one wants to see you naked anymore, and I'm coming up on it."

Steve looked at her and managed not to blush too hard as he replied frankly, "I can't imagine that." That earned him a smile, so he added, "Although I guess that means I'll probably be off the hook, right?"

_…has a tattoo of the Captain America shield in an undisclosed location._

"Oh, I'd love to let you believe that one just to see you squirm," she said. 

"I know you don't have any tattoos, Tony."

"I know, it's too bad," she said sighing. She brightened. "But what you should do sometime, for laughs, is have JARVIS pull up Coulson's file for you and check out the 'identifying marks' section."

Steve felt his face heat up. "You're joking."

"Oh, I wish I were," she said solemnly.

_…hired her boxing instructor as bodyguard/chauffer._

She smiled fondly. "Happy was the first person I ever met who actually bothered to fight back when I threw punches at him. In a world made of 'yes, Miss Stark,' 'do you think that is necessarily the best idea, Miss Stark?', there was no way I was ever letting go of that guy."

_…was briefly involved in an arranged engagement with Justin Hammer._

Steve had to get up and get Tony a glass of water from the bar, she was laughing so hard.

_…has only once been photographed wearing any jewelry but a watch. At the press conference for her takeover of Stark Industries, Tony was seen wearing a necklace rumored to have been given to her by predecessor Obadiah Stane._

Tony snorted indelicately. "Where do they come up with this shit?"

Steve looked her over. "You don't wear jewelry, though," he said.

"No," she agreed. "I think there are plenty of ways to flaunt my wealth that are a lot more fun." She made a face. "The necklace was my mother's, though." She smiled faintly. "She always despaired of me not wanting to wear gold and diamonds, so I did that day, just to spite her. Least ladylike day of my life, and I showed up in full makeup and one of her fanciest necklaces." She laughed abruptly, and the note of anger in it made something inside Steve twist up. "No, Obi came up to me before we went out onstage holding a box. 'If you were Howard's son,' he told me, 'I'd have gotten you a fancy watch to mark the occasion.'"

Steve raised his eyebrows. "What was in the box?" he asked.

Tony's lips twisted into something that was almost a real smile. "A fancy watch."

_…originally hired Virginia "Pepper" Potts because she liked her shoes._

"Not true."

"Good."

"…I hired her because I liked her rack."

_…owns the rights to the Iron Woman name, despite publically declaring her intention never to use it._

"Do you?" Steve asked, interested.

"Wouldn't you? People are going to call me that whether I want them to or not," she said. "I might as well be making a dollar off it."

He studied her. "Why don't you?" he asked. "Want them to use it, I mean. I was basically informed not to call you 'Iron Woman' if I wanted to get out of the encounter with my head attached, but no one ever gave me a good reason why."

She shrugged. "Iron Man had a name," she said. "The public knew him as one thing, and what's changed since then? Nothing, except that they found out that the person driving him was a woman. The question is, why did they assume he was a man in the first place? Because he was doing heroic things? Because he didn't have tits?" She shrugged. "A superhero is by default a man unless you prove him otherwise, and I've done that. Renaming him would be redundant. This way, every time someone has to string together 'Tony Stark' and 'Iron Man' in a sentence, they get to remember just how wrong their assumptions were."

"Do you do anything without an underlying motivation of sticking it to people?"

"Not much, no." She grinned at him. "And it's usually not too underlying, either."

_…funds countless scholarships for girls in the sciences, only some of them under her own name._

"Philanthropist, huh?" Steve asked, and she tossed him a careless shrug.

"I wasn't lying," she said flatly.

"I know."

_…has slept with half the starting lineup of the New York Yankees._

"That doesn't even make any _sense_ ," Tony raged. "That’s four and a half guys. How does someone sleep with four _and a half_ guys?"

"If anyone could find a way," Steve pointed out, "I bet it would be you."

_…owns 37 cars, and has been known to do work on them while still dressed in a ball gown._

Tony sighed deeply. "You let them take a picture of you doing something like that _one time_ , and it's all you ever hear about."

Steve laughed and shook his head. "I'm not even surprised."

Tony lifted a shoulder. "Some magazine was doing a feature on me, and I wasn't going to stop tinkering around down here just because I had some reporter puppy running around at my heels. So yeah, Pepper made me go to some gala, and I was working on some concepts on the ride home. I came down here when we got back and got to work. Pepper was basically horrified. Apparently the dress was a one-of-a-kind. The reporter was thrilled, though. It was all very human interest or whatever." She looked into the distance for a moment or two. "Also I think he went down on me on the hood of the car."

Steve felt his jaw drop a little. "You _think_?" he finally managed.

Tony looked at him sideways. "You don't expect me to remember every reporter I've done on the hood of a car, do you, Cap?"

"Is that…something that happens often?"

"Not often enough," she replied with a leer.

_…has a standing offer to teach a course at MIT, should she so wish._

"It's a little more complicated than that," she hedged.

"But it's true?" Steve prodded.

"More or less."

He looked at her seriously for a few moments before smiling. "You'd make a great teacher."

She laughed harshly. "I'd make a _horrible_ teacher."

He considered it. "I don't think you would," he said finally.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," she said, "but you're wrong."

"And you really hate to be bad at things."

"That's right," she replied brightly.

"It's too bad," he told her. "I bet those kids could learn a lot from you."

She snorted and nodded at the magazine in his hands. "How about a seminar on 24 ways to fuck up a promising life? That sounds like a great class."

He frowned at her. "Tony…" he began, but she cut him off by grabbing the magazine from his hands and resolutely saying, "What's next?"

_…sleeps in the nude._

"Oh, for Christ's sake."

Steve grinned. "Well?" he prompted.

"How is it that you can ask me that without turning even the slightest bit red?" Tony demanded.

Steve shrugged. "Because I already know that you do."

"Creep."

_…was the first woman to drive in the Monaco Grand Prix._

"Okay, that's it, I'm buying this entire magazine so that I can find them some decent fact checkers. Are you _kidding_ me, here?"

"I've seen that footage," Steve said.

"Everyone's seen that footage. I was a total badass. But I was a total badass fifty years too late to be the first woman on that course."

_…is in talks with 21st Century Fox about the prospect of an Iron Man documentary._

"Untrue. I was just sleeping with their head of film development for a while. She kept trying to sell me on the idea." Tony frowned. "Actually, I can't remember if she was pitching it because we were seeing each other, or if we started seeing each other while she was pitching it."

"Does it matter?"

"Not really, no."

"I take it she wasn't successful," Steve prompted.

"No. Just wait until the studios come knocking for you, big guy," Tony said, nudging his leg with her toes. "You'll see. It's not all it's cracked up to be."

"I think I've already done enough of that for a few lifetimes," he pointed out.

She shot him a lopsided smile. "The man has a point," she agreed. "They'll end up making a movie about you with your input or without it, though," she said. "Luckily, I've already bought the rights to every trademark related to the Avengers that you can possibly think of. If anyone tries it, they'll be paying me out the ass. I'll see that you get a cut," she added generously.

"Gee," he said, "thanks." He frowned. "I thought they already did make a movie about me."

"Oh, they did," she said. "Six of them, actually. You're kind of like Batman, or Bond. They recast you every couple of years. But if you think you're not getting a reboot now that you're out of the ice, you're out of your mind."

" _Six_?" he asked, incredulous. "I am not _nearly_ interesting enough to have _six_ movies made about me."

"Nope," Tony agreed, "you're definitely not. They should have stopped at four."

_…reportedly included plans for shared housing for all the Avengers in the renovations undertaken at Stark Tower following the Battle of Manhattan._

"They can't google the Monaco Grand Prix, but they get _that_ right?" Tony demanded. "Who are their sources, and will anyone care if I have them shot?"

_…has recently been seen frequently in the company of this man. Sources identify him as physicist Bruce Banner, about whom little is known. A fling, perhaps, or simply a new addition to the Stark Industries arsenal?_

Steve peered at the photo. "Are you wearing his shirt?"

"No," Tony said, then leaned over to look closer. "He's wearing one of mine." Steve raised his eyebrows at her. "What?" she asked. "His wardrobe is a _mess_ , Steve, you have no idea. Dude couldn't shop to flatter himself if you _paid_ him. Trust me, I tried. I ended up having to send him and Pepper out for a day, because he said shopping with me made him too – " she made a hand gesture that Steve interpreted as _green_. "Anyway, what does it matter?"

"It doesn't," Steve said.

Tony poked him in the side. "You aren't going to pry about whether it's a 'fling' or not?"

"It's not any of my business," Steve replied mildly.

She eyed him seriously for a few moments. "No," she finally agreed. "It's not." She let out a breath. "Your business, or a fling," she admitted.

"You sound…disappointed," he hedged.

"Me of a few years ago would have been all _over_ him," she said. "He wouldn't even have known what hit him."

"And you of now?" Steve prodded.

She sighed deeply. "Me of now thinks I'd probably fuck him up so badly that I couldn't keep him in my lab for the rest of my life." She made a face. "And that's just unacceptable. It's _tough_ to be this much of a nerd, Cap."

"I can imagine," he said.

"No you can't," she said. "Would you ever give up sex – " she paused significantly, "for _science_?"

He thought about it. "Possibly not," he admitted. "But I _would_ give it up for the good of my team, which is what it sounds like you're doing."

"Ugh, that's because you're a good guy, Cap." She made a face. "I fucking hate good guys."

"So you mentioned," he said mildly. "But it sounds to me like you might be turning into one anyway."  
______________

"So, what do you think, Cap?" Tony asked. She was stretched out across the couch, her legs sprawled over Steve's lap, her glass lying empty and forgotten on the ground beside her. "Did I give you any brilliant insights into The Life of Tony Stark? Has your life been enhanced by learning these 24 facts? Was it worth the – " she flipped the magazine over. "Eight bucks, seriously? For a _magazine_?"

Steve shrugged. "The magazine's in your name," he pointed out, "which means it's not my eight bucks."

Tony squinted at the address and tipped her head back to frown at DUM-E. "How many times do I have to tell you?" she asked. "You can't _read_."

"I believe he likes the pictures, Ma'am," JARVIS offered.

Tony's nose wrinkled minutely. "JARVIS, you _have_ informed him that he doesn't have eyes, right?"

"Many times, Ma'am," he replied in a long-suffering tone.

"Okay, just checking." She reached up to hand off the magazine to DUM-E, who whirred in a pleased-sounding manner and started to wheel away. "Hey, Dummy," Tony called after him, and he rolled back to hover over her shoulder. She leaned in to say something to him quietly, and he beeped twice, then rolled off again, out of the office and into the workshop.

Steve let his head tip back against the couch and smiled contentedly. "Yeah," he said eventually, after the silence had some time to stretch out between them, "I think that was worth your eight bucks." He let a hand fall onto her leg and squeeze briefly. "Thanks," he added, catching her eyes.

"For the magazine? Thank Dummy."

"For the answers," he corrected.

"I'd say anytime," she said, "but…" she waved a hand.

"You wouldn't mean it."

"Probably not, no." She looked conflicted for a moment, then said quickly, "JARVIS is good at answering questions, though. If you have more." Her leg shifted under his hand, and he briefly thought about all the things that the magazine hadn't delved into, and he hadn't found the words to ask. He opened his mouth to thank her again, but was interrupted by DUM-E rolling back into the room, a tattered book caught in his claw. "There you are, buddy," Tony greeted, and reached to take the book from him. "Thanks. Why don't you go pour Steve a drink?"

"I don't – " he began, and closed his mouth as she dropped the book onto his lap.

"Your turn, Cap," she said, smiling wickedly, and he looked down at a well-worn copy of _101 Things You Probably Don't Know About Captain America and the Howling Commandos_.


End file.
